Friday, April 11, 2014

What was that Sound?

Warning: This post may contain explicit content and have a high gross-out factor.

After the kids were tucked in and soundly sleeping, the hubby and I were sitting around and chatting when we heard a strange sound. It sounded a little bit like the cough/barf keyboard from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You know the one I'm talking about.

We listened carefully to see if we could identify its origin or cause, but didn't hear anything else. We dismissed it. Figuring that if it had been anything important, we would have heard some sort of follow-up noises.

Roughly 20 minutes later, we discovered what had happened. Are you ready for this?

Shorty had apparently loudly pooped his pants while sleeping.

I know, I know. Don't ask me how one does that. All I know is that it happened. He awoke, uncomfortable due to the mess in his pants. Naturally. Then he reached in and removed the solid mass that he found, placing it in the center of his bed. Why wouldn't he? Who can walk with a large turd weighing him down? He decided to head to the bathroom to get cleaned up, as it was quite a messy bowel movement. As he reached the door to his room, he was faced with a dilemma. His hands were covered in excrement, yet he needed to turn the knob to get out. He tried to open the door with his elbows, because they were clean. That didn't work. He didn't want to call out loudly, since his brothers were sleeping, so he tried softly knocking on the door to see if we could hear him. We didn't.

We still don't know how long he was standing there before Daddy's Spidey Sense told him to check on the boys.

There he was, poo smeared in unlikely and unpleasant places, devastated at the state of things. And we had our answer to the question, "What was that sound?"


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